A few words about buying tech toys for preschoolers this holiday season

(Excuse me as I drift into verse... I think all the holiday corniness is having an impact on me.)

The box is bright and heavy. The package says it’s “plug and play.”
Grandma sent it here for Christmas, and we opened it today.
On her card she straight admitted: “What it is, I have no clue.
“But I’m told that even 3-year-olds will know just what to do.”
Our mom, she shook her head at first: “Do we really need this game?”
But look Mom: It says ABCs! I will learn to spell my name!

“I’ll need scissors,” Mom announces. “These plastic clamshells are the worst.”
She pulls and tears and cuts some more. (I think she even cursed.)
Her next word, it is “batteries.” She says it with a sigh.
Dad goes looking for the screwdriver. Ten minutes have gone by.
Finally the plastic thing is attached to the TV.
Which channel now? Is it 1 or 2? No, that’s it: video 3.

Hooray, the game is on the screen! Have I said I love my mother?
“Take that cord OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,” she’s now shouting to my brother.
I go looking for the remote, ‘cause I think we need some sound.
“Good Lord, that’s loud. That hurts my ears. Honey, turn it down!”
The screen, it shines. Some words appear. A button’s all I need.
But I have to ask, What do I do?, since I’m too young to read.

The joystick’s cool. I push and pull. Hey here’s a microphone!
“Try again!” the TV says, in a singsongy tone.
Mom decides to give me tips, as if she’s played before.
“Don’t pull the joystick quite so fast. Now try to lunge for more!”
Suddenly the screen goes black. “Don’t tell me this thing’s dying.”
It’s just the cat tugging on the cord when my brother isn’t trying.

I push the joystick back and forth… nah, let’s try a different game.
I already know my colors so that one is kind of lame.
Look, I can do it by myself: I put a new disk in the slot.
But I yell “Mom, I need your help!” what seems an awful lot.
She takes a seat, guidebook in hand. My personal troubleshooter.
This is our time together now. I mean, really, what is cuter?

So if you have to ask: It’s true, TV toys are loads of fun.
But did I hear my friends outside? I think I’ve got to run.